I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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