Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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