Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize