you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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