you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I wish i was in the wii world.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
