I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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