I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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