I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Then you guys just all showered together...?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
