David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
