they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
