just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
