there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
