She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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