And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize