You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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