whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
