I just saw a hot homeless man
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
