guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
