we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
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