But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
