I'm eating all of the evidence.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
