he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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