I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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