It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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