Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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