you traded sex for a burrito?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
