So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
