i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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