what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
