she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Your topless pictures make me question reality
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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