Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize