I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize