is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
