Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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