I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
