Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We left an ass print on the piano.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
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