he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
