what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
