We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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