is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
