why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Randomize
