Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
