I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
