I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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