Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
