We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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