Your tits are I can't wait for
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
