in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize