Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
