Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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