So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Randomize
