Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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