i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
