dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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