too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
