if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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