Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
