whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
