I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
