I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
