when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
