Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
