I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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