It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize