Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize