Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
