So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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