How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Randomize
