ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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