no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
