that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
