everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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